It is the hours between days that breed doubt. As a nursing mother I spend many of these hours awake, but instead of savouring this precious, fleeting time with my son, I instead decide to drag my mind through the mess of the day.
Contemplation is not best done in the dark.
During this time my fears come alive, creeping in with bad intentions - keeping me awake. I become panic stricken, I am hopeless, I am scared. There is no light at the end of the tunnel and I am all alone. I am frantically searching for a resolution, an excuse, with the worry bearing down on my shoulders.
I pray for the peace of sleep!
And then the morning comes, bringing with it a fresh new opportunity for change. The sun slips between the blinds, and casts lines of life over what was, only moments before, dark and lifeless. The morning is alive and bright. The birds sing from their leafy perches, a beautiful reminder that I am not alone, that He is with me, guiding and loving.
It is in the morning, that troubles are revealed as inconveniences far less important than remembering to be thankful for the everyday blessings.
Linking up with Concrete Words at www.sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.co.uk/
LOVE this honesty and the way you wrapped it up. You paint beautiful word pictures :-) Fantastical post Mrs xx
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteHappy to have met you through Concrete Words, Sabrina. As a previously nursing mama, I so clearly remember those nights. Sometimes able to feel thankful for the life at my breast, other times overwhelmed by the day that happened and the one to come and the fear that I would not be able to handle it. I relate to the sleep-deprived hours and the bone-weary longing for rest.
ReplyDeleteThis line broke free with such hope -- a perfect representation of the new life of morning: "The sun slips between the blinds, and casts lines of life over what was, only moments before, dark and lifeless."
Thanks for joining up with Concrete Words this week!
Ashley (guest hosting for Nacole)
Hi Ashley, thank you for your comment.
DeleteIt's nice to know that others can relate to these feelings. Being a new mum has opened my eyes to the blessings in my life and I am taking each (sleep deprived) day at a time, and so looking forward to many more :)
Hi Sabrina. I love this reflection and how you move from wrestling with fears in the dark to the realisation that morning arrives "bringing with it a fresh new opportunity for change". Aren't we all thankful for that? My days of breastfeeding are long behind me as I await the arrival of my first grandchild at the end of the year. But, as I think back, what remains is the preciousness of those moments of a soft downy head laying against me rather than how deadbeat and bone-weary I felt at the time. Enjoy what you can of this special episode in life. It passes all too fleetingly! Blessings :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Joy, I certainly will be enjoying every moment, it's going too fast already!
DeleteIt is always surprising how magnified things become in the dark and how ready my emotions are to jump into the unreasonable chorus of fear. I too am so thankful for the dawn that comes and releases me from the torment yet again. The Lord is good to give us new morning after new morning to remind us of how his love renews us time and again. Thank you for sharing this raw and honest look into your struggles. Beautifully written! Hope to see you around Concrete Words some more!
ReplyDeleteThank you Karin - thank the Lord for new mornings and a fresh start every day! :)
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